Soju.
Ugh. Word familiar to Korean folk, like yeppeuda but only in familiarity, the two don't mix, but give the impression of doing so. Exercise caution. Raging hangover. The feeling you get when your liver humanises and decides to picket your brain for the injustices delivered from the upper reaches of your self. With posters mounted on pointy sticks. Expect to walk leaning to one side to avoid excess strain on battered body for at least the first half hour on waking. Preferably around your room, with the air conditioning on. Don't go outside without inventing a travel shower. A vat of water would probably do but can lead to further discomfort when dumping it over yourself to cool off. Wet clothes are never nice, be that the chronic humidity induced sweaty kind or the water dumpage breed.
Picture the scene; pasty white Irish man lands in Korea, (or is that pastey, probably pastey, definitely not a cornish delicacy), I'd google it to find out but my laziness knows no bounds, anyway I digress. Pastey white Irish man lands in Korea, from a land of beautiful fresh country air and arrives in Suwon, pretty much a district of Seoul but very much a city in its own right. Humidity something along the lines of 70-80%. Although not prone to swearing, given his staunch Catholic upbringing <insertsarcasmhere>, he's tempted to say something akin to 'Sweet Suffering fucksticks, how in the blue bejaysus can anyone live in this climate, besides the plethora of locusts that seem to be everywhere, giving a sort of other worldly feel soundtrack to life as a Korean'. In truth he stops at the climate part, and later discovers the locusts (cicadas) haunting the trees, which are plentiful, but ill-equipped to deal with the humidity of the Korean summer. I'm sure they try, bless them, but sometimes trying just isn't good enough. He gets in, apartment isn't ready, spends the night in a hotel in Nuwon, bars everywhere, goes walkabout, gets lost, looks for station to meet people, thinks it walkable, realises it's about the same distance from Leitrim to Edinburgh and eventually decides a taxi might be a decent idea.
Soju. Blur. Good times, suitable introduction, roughity.
The women here are aesthetically beautiful, they're absolutely gorgeous. Walking down the street is a reason to get up in the morning. There are drawbacks. Lack of communication, they don't speaketh the English being up there. Seemingly they love foreigners though, happy days. Learn the language. Seemingly they're little craic too, but having been told that by an American girl that could be a jealousy issue. I've met women who were no craic who were also unattractive. Can't win 'em all y'know but one out of two is a decent enough average to work off. Anyway, there's little to no need for my being some class of a chauvinist. It's unlike me. Learn the language. Counting almost mastered. Talking not so much. Agassi yeppeuda yeoja. Possible grammar issues, will try it out though, language is mostly a contextual issue, that's my story & I'm sticking to it. Vanity is another issue, expect to randomly bump into folk fixing themselves up in any available mirror. Whilst this is common in western countries, normally there's a degree of subtlety involved.
There's a very high rate of suicide here, so I'm told and am inclined to believe to be the case. Between pressures of academic expectation and pressures to be drop dead gorgeous, ahem, life must be somewhat difficult. They go to school at 8am, and by the time they've left school, done their 2 hours of piano lesson and then come to the private schools for the English learning debacle, they get home around 11, launch into their homework and get set for the following 8am. Life skills aren't treated as something of importance, eating out is the norm and ovens are a non-entity. Expect to hear those who can speak English insert the term 'micro-wave' as a prefix to the word 'oven'. Gas hobs are present, though whether commonplace or not is anyone's guess.
They love boozing. Drinking should be a national sport. Pubs don't close until the last Korean has had their fill and fecked off to spend the night passed out on the footpath/alleyway/road. Although that's a gross generalisation, it is commonplace to see men in thousand dollar suits sleeping in the streets. Below is a picture of a puppy as used to illustrate said Korean post-soju. Obviously remove the comfortable bed and replace it with a piss stained alleyway but I'm sure your imagination is strong enough to get the general idea. Here's where I apologise for copyright infringement but having google imaged drunk koreans in the street it was what first struck me as an accurate depiction. Note the empty soju bottle under its paw, these are commonly found scattered around said people when you walk past or across them.
There are other stories from the first week, but worryingly I get the feeling that they'll become a regular theme and can be referred back to at a later date. Ah yeah, corporal punishment & intolerance of weakness; definitely another day's scripture.
Peace be with yiz, tóg bog é.
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