Tea Ching

At this stage I've read a fair few blogs supposedly about teaching in Korea that actually become some class of crass psycho-analysis of Korean custom; the westerner abroad, complete with bum-bag, camera & little to no interest in what they're actually doing, teaching kids. Actually in all the blogs I've read I haven't read one that's dealt with the teaching side of things. They tend to spend their time discussing means of furrowing through the Korean landscape in search of other escapees from the western world in a bizarre ritual of 'ifyou'rereadingthisyoumustactuallygiveashitaboutmypaltryexistenceandthereforewanttoknowwhatIhadforbreakfastity.

For the large part I've found it's sycophantic happy clappers who hunt down western bars at night and McDonald's by day to keep themselves accustomed to their xenophobic leanings. Convinced that their spreading of the language of globalisation is a positive influence on the culture, they paste themselves to the bars and talk patriotism with the troops. Generalising I know but I can merely go with what I've found so far. perhaps somewhere lurking in the shadows of google's search results there's a decent blogger, and my ignorance or lack of time hasn't been trawling as well as it may.

That's all nonsensical gibberish, irrelevant and mostly just a bitter diatribe about bloggery. What's that sound? It's eerie... Ah wait, I've read about this, it's the warning pitch the brain makes before the vortex of self-parody begins and self slips into the assurance of its own pointed contributions to the virtual realm. Somebody call an ambulance. Actually wait, don't bother, I don't have health insurance and my monies are concerned mainly with food and tea 'til the first payday. I'll be sound, sure once ya survive a touch of the heart the invincibility factor can pretty much get ya through anything but a nuclear holocaust...(note to the dear leader; behave yourself, good lad...)

Getting back on topic, well maybe not back, but getting started on topic; I don't have health insurance. The American girl I work with was kind enough to inform me of such the first day we worked togther. I'll avoid naming her on the basis of the school adding it up and my losing a job, which I doubt likely to happen but at the same time isn't a button I wish to press. The contract I signed stated that half the health insurance would be paid by the school. The flip-side of this is that the contract was in English, and any contract that isn't in Korean over here isn't legally binding. This is something worth noting, while like most other foreigners coming here, you sign your life over to a Hagwon for the year. On the upside, if you hate it and decide to skip the country, there's nothing that can be done about it. Keep that in mind.

The school itself is a fairly chaotic affair. Classes from Monday/Wednesday and Friday starting at half 2 in the afternoon and finishing up at half 9. Tuesday and Thursday start at half 3 and finish at half 9. Work every second saturday til half 12 and that be that. 10 days off, 5 you get to pick, 5 that are picked for you by the school. It's not a lot really, spend your days preparing for school and your evenings eating or drinking and often both before hitting the sack. Suffering from soft-as-shite syndrome doesn't really aid my progress as a teacher here. There's no way at 9 in the evening that I'm gonna try and make kids who have been schooling since 8am try to learn stuff, when the alternative is to let them get homework done that otherwise they'll only be starting into around 11 and finishing sometime around the same time as they're due to start the whole process again. They're dead on their feet. It also gives me a chance to get the mountains of essays corrected. Win win.

Corporal punishment is used as an acceptable means of discipline here. My mind has taken the notion upon itself that If I'm ever a witness to it I'll take the specially crafted beating stick off the bucko and turn the tide around. I donno', the kids seem ok with it, but I'm not. I guess they've never known anything else. Keep an eye out for the headline 'Man deported for beating school director to death with his own paddle'. Free the Lurgan one! The weird thing is that all they need is an English Language Certificate to become a director of a hagwon, which is evidently not that difficult to get and doesn't require a complete fluency in the language to run a language school. Bizarre.

Look the main point here is to be careful where you apply for work. Ask questions, demand answers. They'll shaft you about but until you find out were you're at, you'll never know where you're going. There are good schools here too so I hear, try and find them. Ask for the name of the school and their website. Find teachers who were there before you. Ask about your apartment size and never send anything away that you haven't photocopied at least a few thousand times. Get a copy of the contract to sign in Korean and if it feels dodgy it probably is. Trust your gut, it'll lead you where you need to go.

I'm gonna' hit the leaba via the kettle.